June 22, 2018

Walking On A Fine Line

Where is the line between insanity and creativity?...ha, who can answer that?...I wouldn’t ask an insane person and I certainly wouldn’t ask a creative person...but it’s probably less than you think...probably...it’s a fine line and it’s hard to see sometimes...I don’t think one can be creative without a little eccentricity, but eccentricity is far different than being certifiably insane...at least I’ve been told...artists and writers have always been looked on as being ‘different’ and surely there has been more than one of these creators who has taken advantage of perceptions...I know as being an artist and writer, I’ve done so...it especially comes in handy when you’re around some damn annoying people...if people say I dress a little funny, or I’m moody, or my yard is not one that would make the monthly gardening magazine, it may be looked at negatively by certain folks...but if someone were to mention, “He’s an artist”, then many people will half-smile and say something like “Oh…”, thinking you must be half-crazy or ‘touched’...they will sometimes give you a free pass so to speak, as if they could not expect you to behave like anyone ‘normal’...usually if I am introduced to someone as an artist, I usually get a favorable reaction...they usually ask what kind of art you do and they have a daughter or grandson that’s ‘really good’...you don’t get the same reaction being introduced as an insurance salesman, or an undertaker, although I admit both are necessary and important at certain times...God, people hate insurance men, but I think the undertaker might be interesting to talk to...even when I get introduced as a writer, people will ask what I write...my usual response is ‘crap’...which always gets a laugh...I’d laugh too if it wasn’t so true...ask my publishers if you don’t believe me...of course there are some creative people who crossed the line and went over the edge; Van Gogh for one; Hemingway maybe, but I think they were both more than half-crazy...I mean cutting off your own ear...whoa...there are a lot of insane people who don’t have no creativity at all, and not all creative people are insane, so there’s that.
It takes a special individual to take up a profession where it is difficult to become successful, and even more difficult to carve out a living doing either...painting, poetry, whatever...you live for your art, you starve for your art, and a lot of times you die for your art...selling even a small painting, or seeing a few of your written lines in a magazine though can sustain one through the meager periods that are frequent...I know from personal experience...I once knew a girl in high school, who wore nothing but black clothes...I mean everything was black...this was before the whole Goth look ever started...she wore black she said because she was a ‘serious’ artist...I was ok with that...we dated for a while, and almost all my friends wondered why I would date a ‘kook’ like her...she wasn’t a ‘kook’...she was just a little uh...different...she just wanted to stake out her territory, no different than the girls who wore their cheerleader uniforms to class, or the boys who wore their football jersey tops...being an artist, I guess she wanted to stand out...I don’t know what became of her, maybe now she is famous, or maybe she is a cashier at a supermarket...I wonder if she ever thinks of me.

June 20, 2018

I'm No Judge

They say we shouldn’t judge people, but who doesn’t?...hey, we ain’t monks, and I bet they do too...sometimes people hang out just to people watch...at the park, at the mall, at the bar...we judge people on how they dress, how they look, maybe how they talk, or how they don’t...we got the black robe and the powdered wig on and the gavel in our hand...and we are ready to pass sentence on the accused...a nice change of pace...it’s not fair maybe, but it is what it is...we jump to conclusions about people we really have no real idea about, but it’s kind of fun to do...and sometimes it’s better not to know too much about them...you might be in for a major letdown...some of my biggest heroes went to biggest zeroes when I actually met them and found out what kind of people they were in person...some look up to the rich and famous and judge them as being successful and a model for others, having no idea how these people may have gotten to where they are...some titans of industry climbed on the backs of the real workers to get where they got...we see a homeless man standing on the corner holding a sign asking for help, and we might look down on them...some idiots actually throw stuff at them...maybe we should look up to them...they aren’t holding some crappy 9 to 5 job they can’t stand...you see a guy in the $1500 suit, and the man in torn jeans and a dirty t-shirt...there is no way to tell who would turn on you, and who would be there for support...who’d have your back in a back alley fight?...who’d be there for you?...you can’t tell a book by its cover right?...I don’t have much experience with books but I’ve had the considerable misfortune of working in retail, and I’ll tell you, the nicest people to wait on were the bikers, and the kind that looked like they’d cut your throat for a dollar...on the other hand, the psychos normally were the most ‘normal’ looking who would go ballistic when they didn’t get their way...so there’s that...there’s been bottles of alcohol with a great looking label that I tasted and wouldn’t give to an enemy; and there’s some cheap junk I bought or somebody gave to me because they didn’t want it...that kicked my ass and tasted pretty good too...you just never know...appearances can be deceiving in case you didn’t know that already...five star restaurants or two star...the food’s usually better at the two star place...real food...I’ve gotten the best sleep in my life at places that were sketchy...cracked windows, peeling paint, sheets that didn’t fit the bed...shady characters hanging around the place...big rigs pulling in in the middle of the night crunching rocks under their tires...and waking you up in the morning...didn’t matter...sometimes the world is upside down...no not sometimes, most of the time...the best looking women that you chase all over often turn out to be the nastiest or most disappointing...and the ones that ain’t exactly Miss America are the ones with a good heart...there the ones you go home with at 3 a.m. when you know for sure that Miss America just ain’t going to be walking through the door that night...the ones that clean up after you, and forgive you for coming in at 4 a.m. when you said you’d be hope at 10...the ones that cook and take care of things while you’re out fucking around still looking for Miss America.

June 18, 2018

Haunted Houses

A haunted house is a house or can be some other type of building that is believed to be inhabited by disembodied spirits of the dead...these spirits are often former residents of the house, or were familiar with the property...there presence and haunting may be due to tragic circumstances as an accidental death, or perhaps a suicide...other times they are the result of a violent event that happened previously in the house or building...skeptics point out that scientific explanations for the perception that a house is haunted point to the misinterpretation of noises that naturally occur and are present in old structures...there are theories about suggestibility being a cause, and even hallucinations that might be caused by certain substances in the air...according to many ‘experts’,  odd or creaking sounds, and even cold spots are often present in any home... especially in older ones, and that these noises and bumps in the night can easily be mistaken...perhaps for footsteps in a hallway, or a banging sound which could even be a loose shutter in the wind...others meanwhile have reasoned that the perception of a ghost, or a cold spot in the house, and ghostly touches are triggered by variations in what are naturally occurring or man-made magnetic fields, nonetheless, some houses sit empty for years due to their ‘haunted’ reputation...but maybe the experts are right...yes maybe...or maybe there really are hauntings.

June 16, 2018

Kleptomania

Maybe you’ve known somebody like this...I have...a kleptomaniac...a kleptomaniac or someone who suffers from kleptomania is a person who is unable to stop themselves from having the urge to steal items...usually from a store for example, although some kleptomaniacs steal personal items from people too...it is often done for reasons other than personal use or financial gain...in psychiatric circles, it is often classified as an impulse control disorder...some say it falls under the realm of obsessive-compulsive disorders...those who are experts in such matters say that there is a difference between standard theft and kleptomania...regular theft is done deliberately and is motivated by by the value of the object, or its usefulness is to the thief..., kleptomania however is prompted by the failure to resist impulses to steal even if the item is not needed or wanted for personal use, or even if it is of little or no value... it is said that some kleptomaniacs are racked with remorse and grief after they act upon their impulses and steal...others are not...in the case I’m familiar with, the girl had absolutely no grief or remorse about it...it was all about thrills and getting away with it...that is until the time she didn’t...but that’s another story...sometimes other mental disorders are present in the kleptomaniac...other times, not...even though it is a familiar issue, the afflicted are still made to suffer the consequences of the law when caught and are not given a ‘free pass’ because of their ‘illness.’

June 14, 2018

My First Poem

I was sitting at my desk the other night writing some poetry or in reality, trying to let the poetry write itself (God, that sounds so smug and sickening)...this night though, it was being lazy or had some kind of writer’s block or was at the corner bar...I gave up and had a few cold ones myself...during a break in the proceedings, for some reason I began thinking about what the first poem I ever wrote...I can’t be 100% sure, but the first one I remember was one that I did for a fourth grade class...and I’ve lived my life in fourth class ever since...I think we were studying Robert Frost or maybe that was just wishful thinking...I don’t remember, hell I can’t remember what I did yesterday...the poem we had to write, I don’t know, had to be sixteen or twenty lines or something...of course I had no idea of what to write but for some reason I came up with this...I don’t remember the whole poem but it went something like this:
I drink beer at the pier,
Whiskey makes me frisky,
Gin makes me sin,
I smoke when I drink Coke,
…and there were other similarly themed lines of ‘poetry’...I thought it was pretty funny and so did my friends...of course I was only 8 or 9 years old at the time...I have probably written worse things as an adult...I thought I’d get a failing grade on it but strangely enough, my teacher liked it and gave me an ‘A’...she must of been some kind of communist sympathizer, or a closet hippie...I don’t know if that inspired me to become a writer/poet, but it’s always nice to get some encouragement when you are young...
I was thinking of what might happen today if I wrote such a thing...maybe nothing at all, or in this age of overreaction, I’d get called down to the principal’s office and gotten grilled about it...my parents would of gotten their asses put before some social worker or by a Child Protection agency and have to explain why I would come up with such ideas...I’d probably even get suspended for being a bad influence...if so, it wouldn’t be the last time that happened...some psychologist might of read into it some suppressed feelings I was expressing or that somehow this was a first person account of actual events that I had accessed and processed and thusly I had regressed...of course that would have all been a bunch of bullshit, but that’s the kind of snowflakes that are running things now...it was just a silly poem but I wonder if today’s eyes would see it that way...we live in a fucked up world and it’s not because of goofy poems.

June 12, 2018

10 Hour Drive & You Can't Let A Friend Down

10 hour drive
some days i feel like
backing the car
out of the garage
and hitting the interstate
and just driving
in fact, i did that once
drove 10 hours to Toronto
once i got there
i didn’t know what to do
once i got there
so i had a couple of drinks
at a bar downtown and then left
i could of made it home quicker
but i stopped
to see a detroit tigers game
at old, decrepit tiger stadium
a once in a lifetime chance i figured
i thought my car
might not be there
after the game
but unfortunately it was
and i drove back home

you can't let a friend down

never again i swore
with my head spinning
my stomach churning
i should have known better
nevermore quoth the drunk

i found the floor
or it found me
and i passed out
and i woke up
swearing
and swearing off drinking

later the phone rang
a friend in town
wanting to go out for drinks
that night
well hell
you can’t let a friend down

June 10, 2018

Exorcism

There are some religions that sometimes call for the use of an exorcist...like the one in that movie...an exorcist is a person who is believed to have the ability to cast out the devil or other demons...this can be from a person, a building, or even an object...of course, this calls for specific instructions that a priest, a nun, a monk, a healer, a shaman or other person can be in possession of...such a procedure is called an exorcism...now depending on the spiritual beliefs of the exorcist involved, this can be done in a variety of ways...it may be done by causing the entity to swear an oath...it can also be done through an elaborate ritual, or it may be as simple, if there’s such a thing as simple in this process, by commanding it to depart in the name of a higher power...this practice of exorcism is very old and part of the belief system of many cultures and religions...it is said that there is a form of mental illness that causes the stricken to believe that they are possessed by a demon, or some such thing...that’s what the medical professionals believe and they discount any actual possession taking place...some have performed criminal acts and later said that they were ‘possessed’ at the time...some psychiatrists are believers and have done studies, but those are subject to ridicule and scorn by other ‘professionals’...even Mother Teresa supposedly was subject to an exorcism after she felt she "might be under the attack of the evil one”...these days exorcisms are even performed via cell phone...ain’t that crazy?..